Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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