we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
