Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
