So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
