will power is for people who don't want to get laid
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got inside last night via doggy door
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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