ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
