I think I died a long time ago.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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