Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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