My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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