Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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