the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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