Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
