I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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