my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize