Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
