You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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