I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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