he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
