He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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