I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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