would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize