I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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