So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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