I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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