My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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