Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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