We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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