i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
