hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
