Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
