so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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