Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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