Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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