Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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