i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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