Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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