remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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