Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
