I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
