too bad you live with your parents still
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
