I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They took my balls.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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