Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
