I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize