thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
