I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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