She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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