great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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