can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
