she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize