Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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