I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
