Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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