Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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