I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize