Do you still have your period?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
