Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  wanna go halves on a baby?

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  (719): wanna go halves on a baby? http://tfl.nu/z3oe
  Replies (18) Good night (1175) Bad night (952)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how bad I want you right now?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is that a hint?

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  (630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8
  Replies (11) Good night (760) Bad night (3305)
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  (714): View more from California

  thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.

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  (714): thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him. http://tfl.nu/1l2e
  Replies (31) Good night (1168) Bad night (5670)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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  (816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs. http://tfl.nu/qooi
  Replies (24) Good night (4667) Bad night (884)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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  (506): He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/8v8k
  Replies (20) Good night (901) Bad night (6149)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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  (985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5
  Replies (32) Good night (4824) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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  (952): So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome http://tfl.nu/t5m3
  Replies (12) Good night (6427) Bad night (1048)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

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  (610): I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils http://tfl.nu/glcj
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (2851)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (5368) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday

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  (318): There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday http://tfl.nu/53lu
  Replies (12) Good night (3277) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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  (604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1723) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.

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  (251): I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either. http://tfl.nu/mrji
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (1015) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

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  (631): He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims. http://tfl.nu/mqeu
  Replies (16) Good night (2463) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.

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  (515): I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me. http://tfl.nu/axuf
  Replies (10) Good night (394) Bad night (1341)

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