Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.