I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...