I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Enjoy the penises
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
