i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
