Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize